It’s Time for Summertime Potty Training with Rosey Davidson from Just Chill Baby Sleep
Celebrity sleep and potty-training expert Rosey Davidson is the founder of award winning sleep consultants Just Chill Baby Sleep, offers an online Guide to Potty Training which is an easy to follow no-nonsense guide. The guide is designed to demystify the potty-training experience, helping parents feel more confident, prepared and stress free. Here she shares her expert tips.
Potty training is an important learning experience for your child, and you! A child is very unlikely to wake up one day and say ‘I’m ready to use the toilet, I don’t need nappies anymore’, but they will give you some clues when they are ready. Our job as parents is to identify when our children are capable of learning this new skill, but also to get the ball rolling!
For some, it can be a process that takes a few days, for others it takes a while longer. Each child is unique, so we need to be prepared to go at their pace and have reasonable expectations of the process.
Potty training is a journey, your child has only really known one way of going to the toilet for their life to date. They have been able to wee and poo in their nappy, whenever they need to, and will be used to that sensation. Together you are going to learn when they need to go to the toilet, where to go, how to wash their hands and how to look after their bodies. It can be a wonderful experience to watch them learn this new skill and see how proud they will be as they master it.
Accidents will happen, they might happen for a while. If you expect this and mentally prepare for it, then it will make it easier to respond without being frustrated or feeling like something has gone wrong. Summertime is a perfect time with more relaxed schedules and warmer weather, children have less layers to pull down and fewer clothes to get wet!
Remember when they were first eating solid food or learning to walk, there will have been plenty of dropped food or stumbles to the ground. This is just the same – there will be times when they are distracted or miss the signal from their body that they need to go to the toilet. Each accident is part of the learning process for them.
When to start
Parents usually start potty training around 2-2.5 years old. The ideal window of time to start potty training is around 18 months to 3 years. This window of time generally offers the ideal opportunity to start to potty train as it combines willingness with physical and mental preparedness.
Signs that they are ready!
There are some common signals that children display when they are ready to start potty training – you’re looking for a combination of these, not just one or two from the list.
• Nappies are dry for longer periods of time (1-2 hours) and you are changing them less frequently.
• Can clearly communicate to you when they need something, such as when they want a drink or something to eat.
• Stop what they are doing to wee or poo.
• Seek privacy to wee or poo in their nappy.
• Want you to change their nappy more urgently and clearly dislike wearing a dirty nappy.
• Can adjust simple clothing themselves i.e. pull loose trousers up and down.
• Can understand and follow a simple set of instructions i.e. find a specific toy, pass you a cup, choose a book and bring it to you.
• Able to sit still for a few minutes at a time
• They can point to simple body parts when you name them, for example can point to their ears, eyes, knees if you ask them where they are.
• Will tell you that they need to wee or poo before they go!
Preparation
We want to prepare our children for potty training, helping them understand what is going to happen and feel safe and secure about changes to their day to day habits. It is important to talk about potty training in a positive way, getting them used to the idea that poo and wee is normal and that using the potty/toilet is a natural progression for them.
When talking to your child about potty training, be aware that they might be a little wary of change. We want to use positive language. Talk to them about listening to their growing body and how exciting it is to be growing up and learning something new, whilst reassuring them you are there to help them as they learn.
Once you have all the signals and you are ready, it’s time to plan a start date. Summertime is a great time, as you can be more flexible in your schedules and its as there are less clothing layers for your child to remove.
What you need
A potty (Pourty recommended), lots of pants and a toilet seat!
For the first day
Start the day off like any normal day. Go through your normal morning routine of waking up and helping them to get them dressed. But there will be no nappies this morning. There is no need to make a big deal or fanfare of it being the start of potty training, in fact, it can be beneficial to keep it calm and fairly low key.
You will have already explained in the build-up to today that they would start to wear pants/knickers and use the potty, instead of wearing nappies.
Dress them in their clothes and new underwear and tell them that today they are going to wee and poo in their potty instead of a nappy. Be clear and calm and let them know that you are there to help them and you’ll be doing it together. Any big change can feel unsettling for a child, your role is to provide them with a feeling of safety and security as they adapt and learn.
Some parents choose to leave their child with a bare bottom for the first day or two of potty training. This is mainly for speed in responding to accidents, getting onto the potty when needed or spotting if their child is starting to wee or poo. It’s a personal choice if you would prefer to go clothes free on their bottom half to start with.
However, our preferred approach is to go straight to wearing pants/knickers and easy to remove clothing so that our children learn how it feels to wear their new underwear and start potty training as they mean to go on. It might mean you have a bit more washing to do at the beginning if there are accidents, but this is part and parcel of the process.
This first day, and potentially the first few days, are all about being in the house/garden together. No rushing to appointments or planning trips out the house. Arts and crafts, story books, singing, playing with toys are the order of the day. And, importantly, watching your little one for signals they need the toilet and being ready to respond.
A few different things may happen today, in fact, all of them might happen today!
Your child will tell you they need a wee or a poo. You’ll get them the potty and they will sit down and go. Fabulous! Praise them however feels right for your child. Some children like a big hurrah, high-fives and dancing. Others might respond to a lower key “well done” and a cuddle. Go with what you feel is right for their temperament, but make sure you give a positive acknowledgement that they have done something to be proud of. It can surprise you just how proud you will feel when you see them do this for the first time!
Your child will tell you they need a wee or a poo. You’ll get them the potty but they won’t sit down, or they will sit down but they won’t go. Don’t feel stressed or pressurise them to sit or keep trying. If they have practised part of the process, say “well done for trying” or “well done for remembering to listen to your body” and carry on with another activity. Watch for signs they do need to go and remind them to sit on the potty again.
They will go over to the potty themselves and sit down to wee or poo. Another great sign! Praise them with a big fanfare or a more gentle well done, depending on what feels right for them. They might do this every time from now on, and you’ve cracked it! Or, they might have accidents for the rest of the day or the next day. Don’t panic, remind yourself that they can do it, they just need to practice more to make it a consistent skill.
They might not say anything at all and have an accident. Don’t feel disappointed or frustrated. Clean it up and calmly say something along the lines of “whoops, wee/poo doesn’t belong there. Let’s get cleaned up and try again on the potty next time”. We don’t want them to feel embarrassed, upset or that they are in trouble. But we do want to remind them that the potty is the place for them to go. Knowing how it feels to have an accident in their clothes can be a vital part of the learning process for some children, it will feel different to when they wore a nappy and help them understand the process.
A likely outcome today is that you will spot them giving off signals they need to wee or poo. They might; Freeze on the spot, look a bit confused, stare off into the distance, cross their legs, clutch between their legs, dance on the spot, walk on tiptoes, retreat to a quiet spot or hide. If they need a poo, you might notice additional signals. They might: Rub their tummy, pass wind, seem uncomfortable/fidgety or be a bit grumpy.
Be alert for these signals and tune into how your child signals they need a wee or a poo. Spotting these signals will help you avoid accidents.
When you spot the signals you are going to get the potty and remind them to sit, or help them remove their clothes so they can sit down and go. Try not to make a lot of fuss or rush to get the potty, it might feel a bit overwhelming if there is commotion around them. If they go, praise them. They might not go, they might hold it in and then have an accident afterwards. Remember it is all part of the learning journey.
Talk to them, in a clear concise way without being too intense, about listening to their body and noticing how it felt when they needed to wee/poo. Clean them up and remind them that next time we’ll try again on the potty.
Remember the phrase you will have used whilst preparing with your child…
Keep an eye on the time, if they haven’t been for a wee for a couple of hours then a gentle reminder to listen to their body is a good idea. You can suggest they sit on the potty, to try, and see how they react. If your child has a fairly regular time of day when they need a poo, keep an eye out for signals around then or suggest sitting on the potty. Around 20-30 minutes after a meal can also be a good time to look for signals that they are ready for a poo.
However they end up on the potty (you reminded them, they went themselves, they asked to go), congratulate them for trying. Every time they do a wee or a poo on the potty, even if you caught them mid flow and interrupted an accident, praise them make them feel proud.
Talk to them about what they did in the potty, show them their wee or poo so they can see what has happened. Children can react very well to talking about the details – how big their poo is, the colour of their wee, what a great job they did. It might seem a bit unusual for us, as adults, to discuss the detail, but children can marvel in what they have created!
Go to the toilet together to tip away the contents and let them to help you flush them away. You can make as big a deal of this as you like, encouraging them to say bye-bye, or keep it factual and simply explain that wee and poo goes down the toilet. Different children react to different approaches. Wash your hands together, dry them and congratulate them on a good job!
Naps
The vast majority of children will still have a day-time nap while they are being potty trained. Even if potty training has gone well for the first morning, we are going to put a nappy/pullup on for the nap. Bladder and bowel control while sleeping is a different skill, and one that comes with time.
Calmly change them and explain that we wear nappies/pullups for sleep and they will have their pants back on when they wake up. Don’t worry that this will confuse them – children generally accept that different situations have different rules and won’t even question this. Offer them the potty when they wake up and them back into pants/knickers to carry on the day.
Leaving the house
You are going to leave the house at some point. Either because you have to or because you simply want to bite the bullet and leave the house nappy free!
Start small. Don’t leap straight to a long car journey, a long trip around the shops or an hour long class. This will put pressure on both of you and increase the chance of potential accidents.
A walk around the block, a quick trip to the supermarket or a trip to nearby friends or family is the perfect outing during the early part of potty training. It can be helpful to visit friends or family with children who are potty trained to provide your little one with some extra encouragement.
Be prepared!
Take clean clothes. Make it as easy on yourself as possible and choose loose, easy to change clothes. Have a change of outfit, possibly two, and clean underwear. Don”t forget socks. If you can carry them, a spare pair of shoes can be useful.
Line the car seat or pram seat with a towel or absorbent liner, just in case of an accident. Don’t forget wipes. Take the potty or toilet training seat. This is a mixture of personal preference and practicality. Nobody really wants to walk around carrying a potty with them. If your child uses it while you’re out and about you have to be able to clean it afterwards. If you are going to someone else’s house, and you can easily take it with you, then do. It will feel familiar to them when they need to go, and you can empty it and clean it as normal. If you can easily carry it in the pram or car and feel like your child would be more comfortable using their potty when out and about, even if there is a toilet available, then take it with you. Alternatively, you can take a toilet training seat with you which you can place over the seat of any toilet. If you are confident that your child will be comfortable doing so, you could go out with neither, and support them while they use a normal toilet seat to make sure they are secure.
An accident might happen while you are out. It might be inconvenient, it might be a bit embarrassing. Try not to worry too much, but be sensible about where you go and how long you are out for. Try not to have a set time you need to leave the house by on these first attempts, but time outings for just after a wee or poo has naturally happened so you maximise the time before the next toilet stop.
You might be ready to leave the house on day 2, or it might be day 3, 4 or 5. You have to decide what feels right based on how your child is progressing, but a short walk around the block to get some fresh air and provide a break is low risk and good for both of you, so don’t put it off for too long.
We are cheering you on, best of luck!
To find out more about potty training including night-time training visit the website or follow Rosey
WIN a Just Chill Baby Sleep potty-training course and an award winning Pourty potty.
Potty training is an important milestone for your child and summertime is the perfect time to start potty training! Country Child have a Just Chill Baby Sleep potty training courses and an award winning Pourtry potty to give away to two lucky readers!
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Acclaimed sleep expert and potty-training guru Rosey Davidson and her team at Just Chill Baby Sleep have helped thousands of parents toilet train their little ones with their no nonsense approach. Their potty-training guides are perfect for lockdown home days or warm summer days. The multi award winning Pourtry pottys are fantastic as you can pour the contents straight into a toilet without any spillage! They have a comfortable wide seat and high splash guard.
For more potty-training tips from expert Rosey Davidson at Just Chill Baby Sleep click here